Hey ya'll , It has been a long time since I updated and its partly because I didnt really know what I wanted to share with the WWW. :) And partly because I havent taken the time to sit down at the computer.

It is a chilly Saturday. Our bedsheets are in the washer getting ready to be hung out on the line. Im keeping the heavy comforter on the bed because it is still cool at nights. And I probably will have to wash the kids bedsheets up today too. AND I want to clean, do laundry and bake today. D leaves out on the truck again today. He had been taking every other weekend off but we have decided that he will go back to every weekend. (Big sigh) Hopefully someday things will return to normal.

In the month of May, we have had a niece get married, a nephew and a niece graduate and my sister is going to graduate in June as LPN!!! Wow! I'm so excited for her! She has had a tough row to hoe in the last 12 yrs, ( to put it mildly) and so we are especially proud of her. Unfortunately I wont be able to go to the graduation. Sorry Suz.Wish I could be there for your big moment!!

We went to D's nephews graduation last night .It was nice. Brian, if your reading this, you did a good job on your speech. ....Alot of people. Wow! I was glad to slip out of there. I got to see some of my nieces and nephews that I havent seen in awhile. That was good to chat with them again.

 Hmm... lets see, what else is there to tell you. J is excited about having only 2 more years until he graduates, he's excited about getting his liscense . He has a summer job again and is really happy about that.

K is excited to be have one more year in middle school and then on to TA High. She is learning many things in life right now. She is especially learning about people and the skill it takes to relate to them. We dont all have the skills and the " know how" but we do the best we can.

S is doing very good in school! As usual she loves to bake and make up something special for the family. She also LOVES anything to do with history. If you give her an ear, she will keep talking about history until you cant take anymore. :)

J is full of life and always wanting to find new friends and loves talking to people. She hasnt been feeling very good here of late and so I took her to work with me one day. She thought she was in 7th heaven, except for the fact that she wasnt feeling well. 

The kids are learning a hard lesson in life... they have heard the phrase over and over again, " Life isnt fair" but somehow it has taken on a whole new form for them. They are trying to grasp the reasons why life isnt fair and it is becoming very eye opening for them. I know there arent always reasons to why life is like it is. They want to know why some people always get whatever they want. Maybe even before they ask for it. Why some people never have to hear the term " Life isnt fair". We told them that those people are not being taught to make do with what they have or how to do without. Not having what we want helps build character and helps make you a stronger person for the future. We dont know what the future holds for each of them but we told the girls that if they learn now that they wont get everything they want, that it will make it easier for their husbands in the future. Beings, that the husbands are the bread-winners. Hard lessons in life.....

And to anyone who may be guilt -laden, thinking that this post is talking directly to you, dont kid yourself, this post isnt all about you :) So take a deep breath :)

 Well, its time to get moving and do something.

I'm sitting here and a thousand thoughts have run thru my mind in the last few weeks. It was a good day !! Today was Easter!! And it was a blessing just to have Darrell home for the weekend and on Easter weekend yet to boot. :) Now I have to "pay" for it next weekend, but thats ok. It didnt suit for his side of the family to get together b/c of some conflicts with other family members so we had Darrells folks over for dinner. We grilled Ribeye Steak, had baked potatoes, creamed peas, tossed salad, pear and apple cheese, cheese ball and crackers, iced tea and coffee. Then Darrell brought out his awesome homemade Caramel brownie cheesecake! It was perfect in every way and just as sinful in taste!! His folks left soon after lunch and then went over to be with the other part of the family for the evening. We all took naps . It felt good. I woke to the smell of coffee... mmm...later we made our traditional popcorn for the evening and got out other snacks to eat for our light supper.

 Some other thoughts that I have been thinking... While sitting in a coffee shop with my new found friend, we  talked about everything from soup to nuts and she said something about the "spirit of grief" and later said something about the "spirit of death". Does anyone have any ideas on this ? Do you think it is real? If it is... then maybe that would explain why I have such a difficult time with dealing with the past grievances in my life. In the fact that I have a extremely hard time getting past it or thru it. More so than everyone else around me who may be going thru it too. I know I am opening myself wide open, but I want to get your opinion.

 It can be anything from dealing with losses of the people I love, to regrets in my life, to losing family connections because of someone elses personal issues.  In dealing with the people we have lost to death... I cant understand it and it makes me cry everytime I think of them. I want to get past that. So I pray... asking God to soothe that sore , raw spot in my heart. In dealing with any regrets I may have.... I have to remind myself that God has forgiven me and now my job is to forgive myself. In dealing with losing family close-ness because of someone having jealousy,insecurity or just not having peace between them and God.... that is hard one to deal with. It makes it hard on everyone else around you when those issues have been smoldering for so long and they cant keep them inside anymore .They eventually come out and its rough. !! Especially when alot of those feelings are directed to you, because of you!! And you are innocent of any of the accusations. So I pray ...asking God to soothe the sore, raw spot in my heart AND theirs. I ask God to give them peace most of all and give me wisdom to know how to deal with that. God gave me an idea the other day and I just need to talk to Him more about it and ask Him how he wants me to go about it. 

 Any ideas ?

I just woke up from a nap and it felt good except for the fact that the girls were playing Monopoly and they kept getting excited and a tad loud. Oh well, one of the things you give up when you have kids in the house. Serena just made a big bowl of popcorn with lots of butter and Greek seasoning and it is soooo good!! Anyone want some? Come on over and we'll make some more and sit and have tea.

Tomorrow is back to the grindstone... ugh!! It seems like I can never get to cleaning and organizing the rooms I want!! Anyone have that problem? There seems to always be something else to take up that time! Maybe its procrastination!! Mondays and Wednesdays I work. Tuesday and Thursdays are home unless I have appts or I go to town to pay bills or what not. Fridays , Darrell is home , so I like to hang around the house just in case he would ask me to go with him to do something fun ! :) And Saturdays I clean if I havent gotten it done on Fridays ... so there ya have it

 Well, there is nothing too exciting to write about...  The popcorn is really really good, the girls are not telling me how much butter they put in..... hmmm .... does that tell you anything??

I will try to update. Xanga has not let me the last few times. Life has a way of going on in full swing and yet I have realized that we all need to slow down and enjoy life even if it means in small ways or small amounts of time. Little things like, stopping long enough to smell the wintery air on your way to the vehicle early in the morning. Enjoying Gods beautiful sunrises and sunsets!! ... His icey creations (lately) on all the trees, fences and everything imaginable. Finding that one Italian Bistro.... far enough away from home that its unlikely that anyone you know ,would show up!! Yeah! I know, I'm strange but there is something about having your own little "place". Or ... finding a coffee shop where I can go with my girls,  or my son, my hubby or even by myself , just to think about life.

Or maybe ... just maybe I take some time to enjoy life by thanking God for what I have. Being content with what I have and happy about it!!  Ever notice how some people seem to have everything at their fingertips and yet they are still cranky and grabby with the whole world. Down right unbearable to be with . I dont understand those people!! Where is the beautiful spirit ??

Well, my leg is falling asleep so that must be my clue to sign off.

 So far,the New Year has brought us , a few colds, sore backs, achillies tendon, and a sore  mouth due to Katie getting 9 teeth pulled , in prep for her braces. Finding out that Serena now needs braces to fix her mouth so that she doesnt need to wear a partial anymore.

There isnt much more to write home about except that D has had a little more time off and it has been nice. Have a good rest of the week.